A tribute to my Daniel reads ‘You were the well mannered young man with a heart of gold and a wicked sense of humour’

Why should my lively young boy have a book of tributes? He was only 14 when he was killed. Am I supposed to accept it?

My Daniel was a clever lad; he was teaching himself electronics. He knew what he wanted in life and he had the gumption to go and get it. He overcame every hurdle, but he always looked out for others too. He was going to do well.

I wasn’t there to see how it happened, to see the chain of events that killed my Daniel. I’ve had to put pieces of information together to work it out as best I can. I’ll never fully know how or why.

It was the end of the school day, 3.29pm to be exact. There were kids everywhere, lots of parked cars, lots of noise and lots of parents coming to pick up their kids in their cars.

I’ve been told that he ran out into the road between a pickup truck and another car, both parked at the side of the road close to a junction. It’s a fact; 14 year old boys are full of energy and love to run about. Most 14 year olds don’t worry about dangers - they leave that job to their mum. My smiling child made a mistake that any child could make, and many do. My boy died for it.

I first knew about the crash when my daughter came running to my front door. She told me that Daniel had been knocked down. The police had arrived at my ex-husband’s house, four doors down from mine.

We arrived at the hospital before he did. As his ambulance doors opened I called his name, but got no response. We had to wait in a separate room for news of his condition. It felt like a very long time. Then we were told it was very serious and he would need to be transferred to another hospital for surgery.

While we waited for the ambulance to arrive, I went to see Daniel in the resuscitation room where he lay hooked up to many drips and tubes. I stroked his head and told him we were there for him.

Daniel was in surgery for six hours after we arrived, then he was taken into intensive care. When the doctor came to tell us that it was unlikely that Daniel would survive it felt like the floor was crumbling beneath me. My heart dropped like a dead weight. I couldn’t think of losing Daniel.

For the next six painful days we watched and waited for any small sign that Daniel was going to pull through. I thought that telling my beautiful boy how much he was loved would help him to fight it and wake up. But it wasn’t to be.

The doctors decided to stop the sedatives to see if Daniel would wake up. This was my final chance to hope, but it was in vain. We were told that Daniel had brain damage and that his life support would be switched off when we were ready. We held his hands as he slipped away.

I still have my precious memories of Daniel in the weeks before he died. He was so proud that he’d managed to whip up cakes for my birthday - and I was too. That day has become so meaningful now. Our last celebration together. As time goes on, I still miss him as much as I did then. I don’t think I’ll ever feel the pain ease, but together with my daughter I carry on and try to do the right things in his memory.

When I try to think about why this happened, I realise there are things that could have made a difference.

The speed limit on the road was 30mph. We don’t know how fast the car was going, because estimates and eye witness accounts have all said different things at different times. What I do know is that there were lots of kids around, lots of parked cars and yet Daniel was hit so hard that that he suffered a serious head injury and died.

Hit at 30mph, 45% of pedestrians die, but at hit at 20mph there is a 95% chance they will live. Surely, when so many parents are there to pick up their kids, when there are so many hazards and so many young and excitable children running around, it has to make sense to set the limit lower at 20mph, which is normal in other countries in residential areas. We also need to make sure that drivers stick to it by having speed cameras or putting in humps. It’s a matter of life and death after all.

We forget how powerful a machine a car can be, and we forget the damage they can do to fragile human bodies. We need to be reminded. That’s why I am supporting Road Safety Week in 2010.

Together with Daniel’s school, I am asking drivers to slow down around schools and houses. That means travelling below 20mph, much less if there are groups of children around. Please don’t risk another child’s life. Please don’t put another mother through the agony of seeing her young son die.